Guardian Angel bitch-slap and Goodwill FTW.

Being bitch-slapped by your Guardian Angel is a humbling and humorous experience.

I was at Goodwill today, looking for a birthday present for a friend.  Since I didn’t find the book I was looking for, I wound up wandering around and found myself in the lingerie section.  There, on a hanger, was an amazingly soft, gray cotton bathrobe.  In. My. Size.  

Since I’m not what you’d call a lil gal, this was quite nifty.  As I was pulling it off the rack, I thought, “it’s only $7.  It could come home with me…”  

And then I heard this little voice say, “you DO NOT have money for that.  $7 can be much better spent on something more useful. Like groceries.”

I persisted and was attempting to try it on and fall even more in love with it (did I mention it was SO SOFT?)…when the hanger slipped out from under the fabric and popped me in the lip.  Hard.  Fucking ow hard.  And suddenly, there was another little voice inside my brainmeats going off…

If you think you’re gonna spend $7 on a piece of clothing designed to make sitting on your ass easier and more comfortable, you’ve got another thing coming. 

So I wandered some more, rubbing my lip that thankfully didn’t split but felt like it had.  And I walked out with a summer exercise outfit (which I did not have.  The last time I tried working out, I damn near passed out from wearing thick sweats and a heavy t-shirt): a pair brand new yoga capris and a tank top.  For a grand total of $7.